mysilentfury

Since the SteveV2.0 threw me the bone, I’ll take it…This whatever-the-fuck-you-want-to-call-it will be about the state of modern horror cinema. I’ll talk on the two things about modern horror movies that piss me off the most: remakes and gore-nography. I know what you may be thinking…out of all the shit I could say about this genre of movies, I had to pick these two points. Well my rebuttle is simple – when you sit down to watch a horror movie you should expect two things (three if it’s a sequel) – Bad acting, huge plot holes and, if it’s a sequel, terrible continuity from the previous movie. If you don’t, I’m sorry you’re an idiot. Anyways, on to the point of this thing…

I guess it’s not the remaking of a movie that piss me off; it’s these writers and directors who feel the need to totally change a fantasy world in which they did not create (so I guess “retelling” is a better term). To illustrate my point, check out the new Friday the 13^th movie if you haven’t already.

I love the Friday the 13^th series probably more than any other and it infuriated me to no end that they had to change some key moments in Jason’s history and how he acts. I won’t sit here and hand out spoilers, but fuck. It pissed me off so much that I wanted to walk right out of the fucking theater when I saw how he got his trademark mask. The only thing that stopped me was the group of people I went with. They don’t know as much about the series as I do (well Steve might), but I’m pretty sure they couldn’t have given two shits weather it was a remake or a sequel, so I’m pretty sure that whole “they had to re-invent the franchise to appeal to this generation” argument is pretty much bullshit.

I’ve got no problems with expanding on and adding to a series like Friday the 13^th, but you don’t fucking change it. I mean what the fuck is the point is changing the story? We know Jason can’t die and will always kill people that enter his area of Crystal Lake, so again, why retell any of that? They could have hacked off the first 30 minutes of the movie and it would have been F13 Part 11, which is fine. Look at what the director, Marcus Nispel, did with the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Sure he changed the protagonists, but they aren’t the point of the story, Leatherface is. He didn’t act any different; he was still the same chainsaw wielding maniac and the overall story arc was left virtually unchanged. So why make Jason so different? And more importantly, why wasn’t Kane Hodder playing him?

YOU DON’T NEED TO RETELL ANY OF THIS SHIT…MAKE A SEQUEL, PUT YOUR MARK ON THE FRANSCHISE AND MOVE ON! Yeah, that’s right, I fucking yelled it.

The other thing that annoys me to no end is the incessant use of gore for the fuck of it or gore-nography. Look, I am a big fan of slasher movies as stated above, but there is a line between a bad ass looking kill scene and just plain sick.

Watch the Last House on the Left, any version of it, and tell me you didn’t feel sick to your stomach when you saw those girls getting brutally raped and killed. These kinds of movies have always been around, but they weren’t main stream, you had to be looking for that kind of movie. You wouldn’t see previews for that shit while you were waiting to see the fucking Godfather in 1972. Look at fucking Hostel…it’s just a hop, skip and a jump away from being a snuff film and it was majorly publicized. Is this what we want to see in movies nowadays?

I think the thing is that we are too desensitized to violent crimes. The real world holds so much fucked up shit and the media just sits there and gives people that actually do this kind of shit exactly what they want – attention. Too much I might add. Since the internet came to a lot of homes in the early 90s, people have been able to  see whatever the fuck they want and shit that maybe they don’t (those damn pop-ups). Cinema evidently feels the need to compete with this by coming up with more and more fucked up things for us to see. When was the last time you saw a horror movie and were truly scared? It was probably not recently. The people that make these movies must feel like they have to shock you into being scared instead of using cleaver plot devices, camera tricks and other shit like that. That in itself is sick to me.

I want to go back to a time when a horror movie was actually scary and not sickening.

That is all…