mysilentfury

There are people in this world, I have recently learned, that feel “love” for objects. I’m not talking about your typical dildo-happy soccer mom, I’m talking about people like Erika Eiffel, pictured left, who “married” the Eiffel Tower.

I had never heard of this before today, but the talk radio station in my town was doing some sort of special on it and no matter what these people said, I just couldn’t bring myself to change the station out of some sort of morbid curiosity.

Here it is in Erika’s own words from the OS Website:

What is Objectum-Sexuality? Simply put…OS, is an orientation just as hetero and homo sexuality are orientations of one’s innate sexuality. Replacing the term hetero with object will most accurately describe Objectum-sexuality. But my personal definition is to be emotionally and physically attracted to objects.

I have long heard that one the biggest defenses for the gay marriage ban is that it would open the door to things of this nature because people with non-typical fetishes, for lack of better words, like this tend to attach themselves to the gay rights movement. I guess that in their heart-of- hearts they believe that if a majority of the American public can accept same sex marriage, surely they will eventually accept the joining of a human and object in matrimony or, in the case of the not so fictitious North American Man/Boy Love Association (NAMBLA), even the “love” between an underage male and a grown man.

As America becomes more tolerant to so called alternate lifestyles, more and more people are starting to realize that marriage is something that could, and should, be shared between two consenting adults regardless of gender preference. I just can’t imagine any state legally recognizing human/object matrimony any time in the foreseeable future. And really, why would they?

When I was a younger man, I used to think that the “excuses” homosexuals gave for being gay were total crap. How could someone be born gay? How is being gay not a choice? These are thoughts that I shared with a lot of people I knew until conversations I had with Steve (whose not gay, but a Sociology major) sort of inspired me to look further into it. Basically, I came away with this:

The need for reproduction is hardwired into our brains which is why we are attracted to members of the opposite sex. It’s not totally unreasonable to theorize that the wiring gets ran differently in the conceiving/developing stages of life causing some people to form a sexual attraction to people of the same sex.

With that being said it seems very unlikely to me that someone is born attracted to objects in the same way that I am attracted to my wife. Then again, it could come down to a “wiring” issue for them as well, but I doubt it.

On a lighter note; I’ve had to come to terms with a lot of the ignorant ideas I’ve grown up with, but seriously-How are you married to the Eiffel Tower? That seems like insert-random-word-here-sexual overkill. I can’t help but wonder what France thinks about it. Also, I wonder what Erika thinks of the over 200 million people that have been inside the tower since it was built. If I were an Objectum-Sexual, I’d call it a whore. And every time I went for a visit I would chastise it for letting all those people inside. If my wife let 200 million people inside her, I’d be upset.

But, I digress. There are far worse things those people could be doing with themselves-cough…molesting little boys…cough…NAMBLA, so I guess in the end it’s not really that bad. I just can’t wait for the OS porn to start coming out so I can download it for free.